Dead Boring.

nevver: The Sometimes, Always, Never 3-Button Rule

Wed, 15 May 2013 16:12:42 -0400

nevver:

The Sometimes, Always, Never 3-Button Rule

.

Wed, 15 May 2013 12:56:36 -0400

I LOVE LAMBS.

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:03:13 -0400

I LOVE LAMBS.

"Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually..."

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 02:54:35 -0400

“Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions.

Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time.

In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows:

The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.

In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts. This may sound outrageous, but think about how you react when precocious children dominate the talk at an adult party. As women begin to make inroads into formerly ‘male’ domains such as business and professional contexts, we should not be surprised to find that their contributions are not always perceived positively or even accurately.”

- [x] (via neighborly)

As a teacher, I give girls what I hope is a lot of attention. I don’t know if I give girls their fair share, but I aspire to, especially after noticing that boys are willing to use their greater share of teachers’ attention to get girls who they feel aren’t being quiet and docile enough punished. I have therefore acquired a reputation for “caring more about the girls.” This has had two marked results: Some straight boys have gotten more hostile toward me, and most girls have gotten more confident around me. This makes me think I’m doing something right.

Longer thoughts on how this phenomenon relates to sexual harassment in classrooms, if you’re interested: The girls figured out I won’t report them if they hit boys who are sexually harassing them, I’ll only report the boys. This led to an increase in how often girls got the last word and boys got smacked in my classes, and, also, to a DECREASE IN HOW OFTEN GIRLS GOT SEXUALLY HARASSED. The sexual harassers seem to have been depending on the sort of “equal blame” and “retaliation is never warranted” and “don’t hurt others’ feelings” perspectives so many schools try to instill in kids; the sexual harassers were usually the ones bringing me into the situation by saying, “Miss, she hit me! You should write her up!” Once they figured out I was only ever going to respond, “If you don’t treat girls like that, they won’t hit you,” the girls got more confident and the sexual harassers largely shut the fuck up.

In schools, fighting against sexual harassment is often punished exactly the same as, or more severely than, sexual harassment — a lot of discipline codes make no distinction between violence and violence in self-defence, and violence is ALWAYS the highest level of disciplinary infraction, whereas verbal sexual harassment rarely is. Sexual harassers, at least in the schools I’ve been in, rely heavily on GETTING GIRLS IN TROUBLE WITH HIGHER AUTHORITIES as a strategy of harassment — creating an external punishment that penalises girls for and therefore discourages girls from fighting back. Sexual harassers are willing to use their greater share of floorspace to ask to get girls who won’t date them punished. By and large, teachers do punish those girls when they swear or hit. Schools condition girls to ignore sexual harassment by punishing them when they speak up or fight back instead.

Once the sexual harassers in my classes understood that girls wouldn’t be punished for rejecting them, they backed off around me. And there started to be a flip in what conversations I get called into — girls are telling me when boys are being nasty (too loud and dominant), instead of boys telling me when girls are being uncooperative (louder and more dominant than boys think they should be). (via torrentofbabies)

SLICK SELFIE LOLZ.

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:03:45 -0400

SLICK SELFIE LOLZ.

"What kills love? Only this: Neglect. Not to see you when you stand before me. Not to think of you in..."

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:55:10 -0400

“What kills love? Only this: Neglect. Not to see you when you stand before me. Not to think of you in the little things. Not to make the road wide for you, the table spread for you. To choose you out of habit not desire, to pass the flower seller without a thought. To leave the dishes unwashed, the bed unmade, to ignore you in the mornings, make use of you at night. To crave another while pecking your cheek. To say your name without hearing it, to assume it is mine to call.”

- Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body (via creatingaquietmind)

Photo

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:40:17 -0400

nevver: Another chance

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:35:27 -0400

nevver:

Another chance

downeastandout: New C&J for R&B

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:15:27 -0400

downeastandout:

New C&J for R&B

omgerald: The Discerning Gentleman’s Guide to Shoes

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:11:38 -0400

omgerald:

The Discerning Gentleman’s Guide to Shoes

THIS RECEIPT IS HAUNTING ME. I SWEAR I’VE THROWN IT AWAY,...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 15:08:14 -0400

THIS RECEIPT IS HAUNTING ME. I SWEAR I’VE THROWN IT AWAY, LIKE, TWICE ALREADY.

loverofstories: Clementine von Radics

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:53:38 -0400

loverofstories:

Clementine von Radics

"I’ve lived out my melancholy youth. I don’t give a fuck any more what’s behind me, or what’s ahead..."

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 12:50:00 -0400

“I’ve lived out my melancholy youth. I don’t give a fuck any more what’s behind me, or what’s ahead of me. I’m healthy. Incurably healthy. No sorrows, no regrets. No past, no future. The presents is enough for me. Day by day. Today!”

- Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer (via ikillwhatineed)

My favourite part of my job is occasionally being given free...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:07:41 -0400

My favourite part of my job is occasionally being given free shoes.

"Porn is about male fantasy. The fantasy is that women like everything you do to them, as man. So..."

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:31:01 -0400

“

Porn is about male fantasy. The fantasy is that women like everything you do to them, as man.

So how does this translate into real life? Women spend a lot of time and energy trying to please men. We learn early on that we are being looked at – that we are to be looked at. That we are performers. It took years before I actually started enjoying sex. YEARS. I think what I enjoyed most about sex, when I was younger, was the feeling of being desired. The actual sex part was super boring for the first while.

We learn, as girls and women, that the performance is more important than the actual feeling.

”

- Facials, feminism, & performance: On f**king men in a patriarchy

goddamn this is the truth.

(via dearlydisturbed)

yesssssssss

(via mollysoda)

so accurate, goddamnit.
(via theworstday)
That fucking last part.
(via toiletdemon)

Photo

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 16:50:04 -0400

I have got this on repeat and it is GREAT.

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:33:32 -0400

I have got this on repeat and it is GREAT.

We can’t get out of bed. Send help.

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 14:12:38 -0400

We can’t get out of bed. Send help.

Van Gogh birthday cards are SO how I roll.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:52:49 -0400

Van Gogh birthday cards are SO how I roll.

Apple.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:39:00 -0400

I can’t decide whether people are blind to the bite I took of you or, if in retrospect, I took so little of your flesh between my teeth that on a whole, it made no difference to you at all.